Meditation 15: Pain and Grief

The one thing that human beings cannot stand is to suffer without knowing the reason why. If  they suffer, a reason will be found, no matter what.  However, there is no redress for those who are killed unjustly.  Nothing that is done subsequently can make the slightest difference to the dead, or to those who crave for justice and retaliation.  Anger and hate feed upon themselves, leading to destruction and death.

If this is so, then why can't we stop killing each other?  Is the cycle never ending?  Hate breeds hate, and the thought of those who have injured us rankles ever deeper in our souls.  In the end there is nothing else to life but the fear of the hunted, and the anxiety of the hunters.  To hurt others is to ask to be hurt oneself.  We have known this for so long, but it makes little difference.  Willingness to die is an invincible armor.  The cause appears great.

Instead of retaliating instinctively, we should stop and ask the underlying reason that could lead to such hateful action.  While there is never an excuse for hurting innocents, could we have contributed to the hate that caused it?  Did the perpetrators resort to violence in order to get our attention?  If so, we need to find a way to right our errors and extend a loving gesture, not a hateful one.  Otherwise, the cycle of hate will never end.  We must break with an unjust past.  Only love can accept that past, and move on without bitterness and a desire for revenge.  Sadly, all too many of those who have experienced injury and loss at the hands of others want to get even.  It is hard to give up hate, even when pain and grief accompany hateful thoughts.  The natural thing is to want revenge and the death of our enemies.  This is why, instead of forgiveness, we want a reason to confirm us in our old beliefs and perpetuate the thinking that leads to fresh disasters. 

We can conceive of a world that has put revenge behind it, as well as the reasons for revenge, but it is an ideal for which we must strive.  There is nothing that prevents us from living in peace except our own attitudes and practices.  We can hope that peace is possible, and strive to make it real.  The alternatives are too horrible to contemplate for long, and too defeatist to accept.