Meditation 32: Extreme Old Age

The end of a long life is not a pleasant prospect.  We tend not to think about it. Should old age overtake us, what we find, as Eliot tells us, is "the cold friction of expiring sense."  Our physical capabilities crumble, and tasks that we could have done easily not so many years ago are now impossible to do.  With extreme old age come pain and debilitation and the knowledge that one will never "get well" again.  This may be the key difference between being merely old and extremely old. The body's powers of recuperation are strong, and a state of terminal decline may be late in coming.

Some people are already old at 60 and extremely old at 80. Others add ten years and only get to extreme old age in their 90's or 100's.  We can think of life as a series of books. Infancy and extreme old are the bookends of life, and each is strangely outside the life that we live between them.  When we are very young or very old, our movements are monitored and circumscribed.  We are cared for, because we cannot look after ourselves due to lack of strength or agility.  However, while a world of plans opens up for the young, the world contracts for the very old, and there is no more time for plans. Things that matter to the very young cease to matter to the elderly.   Movement decreases. Reality becomes more sedentary.  The future is tonight and tomorrow.  Most people seem to strive to live indefinitely even though they know they are mortal. The world goes on its way regardless, and it is easy, at the end, to feel like a fifth wheel, surplus to requirements.

The mind starts to go in old age.  Luckily, it may go slowly, and in fact may retain much of its character to the end.  Not counting diseases that affect the brain, the very old can still think and be aware of their current state, future prospects, and of the world falling away.  This may be a source of pain or relief.  The very old are not really needed for anything, haven't much to do and are not expected to do much.  It would be easy to feel like a fifth wheel living out the final bookend of life. A long life prepares an extreme old age.  If one gets there rightly prepared, perhaps it, too, has a contribution to make to a life well lived.

Extreme old age is a rehearsal for death proper.  Nothing matters to the dead, and less and less matters to the very old.  My very old aunt, before she died, gave up playing cards with friends with whom she had played for years.  She wanted to get rid of the silverware, and settle all her accounts.  By snipping away the ties that bind us to the earth, she was getting ready to sever all connections with it.  Some people die quietly as if they were putting down a burden, others fight to the end. At other times, perhaps, a benign nature makes death easy for the very old to accept, since life's beguilements are no more, and we cease to care for the things we would have missed at earlier times of our lives.