It is strange
that such a simple word as "marriage" turns out to be ideological dynamite. At least in the Western
world, everyone knew, or thought they knew, what marriage is, an institution
ordained by the Almighty that joins a man and a woman in holy wedlock. This 'sacred' meaning of marriage belongs to a broadly Christian view. If marriage is defined as the union of a man
and a woman, then the idea of a same sex marriage makes no sense at all. Why then should it be prohibited? It is impossible in the sacred sense, so why worry
whether others wish to use the word "marriage" in a wider sense, no longer sacred, in which a marriage is now a
relationship of two human beings, and we no longer specify the gender of the
partners.
Of course, in
some sacred settings, there will be a prohibition on same sex marriage, and
there is nothing wrong with that as long as everyone's
participation is voluntary. These people
simply will not use the word "marriage" to describe a close, long-lived loving relation between human
beings of the same sex. This is a free choice, but it is not one that should
seek to prevent others from saying that they are married, even if such a union
does not find a sacred seal.
The civil
society created by the separation of church and state in the United States
Constitution guarantees that each law abiding citizen is free to live and
worship as she or he pleases. If you are
not hurting anyone in thinking, believing or acting as you do, then no one has
a right to make you conform to their standards of right and wrong, propriety or
impropriety, morality or immorality. I
may find someone's life empty of meaning, superficial, and boring, but is not my
business to give it meaning, bring depth to the soul, or somehow make the
person more interesting. Disapproving of
someone's lifestyle is one thing, prohibiting it is another.
The uproar
over same sex marriage rests on confusion about the sacred and the
secular. A useful first step is to
consider the nature of a "civil union." Marriage, after all, is more
than a sacred bond; it is also recognition of a certain civil status that is
given to married couples. What is it
that human beings want in a marriage?
What rights and privileges are given to married couples that are not
given unmarried individuals? What do
same sex couples want that already belong to heterosexual couples, but not to
them? Are there any good reasons for
making a distinction between the sexes here? Why should we stop same sex
couples from entering into the same legal arrangements as husbands and
wives? There are no compelling secular
reasons to prohibit same sex marriages, nor to use religious sanctions to
prohibit them. Sealing marriage with a sacred wedding is optional and a matter
of personal faith. It should not be made
the vehicle of public policy.
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